Why Fight Over A Language?

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl

Why Mumbai Belongs To All Of Us???

Why Mumbai belongs to all of us?

By Tushar Gandhi Feb 07 2010

The “Mumbai for Ma­rathi Manoos” wa­r cry has once ag­ain been raised to shore up the sagging political fortunes of the Thackeray family.

When the Shiv Sena-BJP combine came to power in 1993, under the guise of  reverting to the original name they replaced Bombay with Mumbai. I wonder when they will discard the anglicised Thackeray and revert back to their original Marathi surname Thakre?

According to ancient history, a grouping of seven islands comprising Colaba, Mazaga­on, Old Woman's Island, Wadala, Mahim, Parel, and Matunga-Sion formed a part of the kingdom of Ashoka the Great of  Magadh, ironically in North India.

The Bhaiyas and Biharis whom the Thackerays accuse of being outsiders in Mumbai, come from the region, which was a part of Ashoka the Great’s empire.. We judge everything according to history and the history of Mumbai proves that its earliest known ownership was with a North Indian.

The seven islands of Mumbai passed through many hands, the sultans of Gujarat, the Portuguese and the Bri­tish. Every ruler left behind proof of residence in Mumbai.

The Mauryans left behind the Kanheri, Mahakali and the caves of Gharapuri more popularly called Elephanta.

The sultans of Gujarat built the Dargahs at Mahim and Haji Ali, the Portuguese built the two Portuguese churches, one at Prabhadevi and the other St Andrews at Bandra. They built forts at Sion, Mahim, Bandra and Bassien.

The Portuguese named the group of seven Islands ‘Bom Baia’, Good Bay.

The British built a city out of the group of seven islands and called her Bombay.

The original settlers of the seven islands, the Koli fishermen, worshiped Mumbaidevi, her temple still stands at Babulnath near Chowpatty.

The Kolis called the island Mumbai, ‘Mumba, Mother Goddess’.

In 1662, King Charles II of England married the Portu­guese Princess Catherine of Braganza, and received the se­ven islands of Bom Baia as part of his dowry. Six years later, the British Crown leased the seven islands to the English East India Company for a sum of 10 pounds in gold per annum. It was under the Engli­sh East India Company that the future megapolis began to take shape, after the first war for independence Bombay on­ce again became a colony of the British Empire.

History has forgotten this but the first Parsi settler came to Bombay in 1640, he was Dorabji Nanabhoy Patel. In 1689-90, a seve­re plague epidemic broke out in Bombay and most of the European settlers succumbed to it. The Siddi of Janjira attacked in full force. Rustomji Dorabji Patel, a trader and the son of the city’s first Parsi settler, successfully
defeated the Siddi with the help of the Kolis and saved Bombay.

Gerald Au­ngier, Governor of Bombay bu­ilt the Bombay Castle, an ar­ea that is even today referred to as Fort. He also constituted the Courts of law. He brought Gujarati traders, Parsi shipbu­ilders, Mu­slim and Hindu ma­nufacturers from the mainla­nd and settled them in Bombay.

It was during a period of four decades that the city of Bombay took shape. Reclamation was done to plug the br­each at Worli and Mahalakshmi, Hornby Vellard was built in 1784. The Sion Causeway connecting Bombay to Salsette was built in 1803. Colaba Ca­useway
connecting Colaba island to Bombay was built in 1838. A causeway connecting Mahim and Bandra was built in 1845.

Lady Jamsetjee Jeejeebhoy, the wife of the First Baronet Jamsetjee Jeejeebhoy donated Rs 1, 57,000 to meet construction costs of the cau­seway. She donated Rs 1,00,000 at first.. When the pro­ject cost escalated and mo­ney ran out half way through she donated Rs 57,000 again to ensure that the vital causeway was completed. Lady Jamsetjee stipulated that no toll wou­ld ever be charged for those using the causeway. Today Mumbaikars have to pay Rs 75 to use the Bandra-Worli Sea­link, conne­cting almost the same two islands. Sir J J Hospital was also built by Sir Jamsetjee Jeejeebhoy.

The shipbuilding Wadia family of Surat was brought to Bombay by the British.. Jam­shedji Wadia founded the Bombay Port Trust and built the Princess Dock in 1885 and the Victoria Dock and the Mereweather Dry Docks in 1891. Alexandra Dock was built in 1914.

A Gujarati civil engineer supervised the bui­lding of the Gateway of India. The Tatas made Bombay their headquarters and gave it the iconic Taj Ma­hal Hotel and India’s first ci­vilian airlines, Air India. The Godrejs gave India its first vegetarian soap.

Cowasji Nanabhai Daver established Bombay’s first cotton mill, ‘The Bombay Spinning Mills’ in 1854.

By 1915, there were 83 textile mills in Bombay largely owned by Indians. This brou­ght about a financial boom in Bombay.

Although the mills were ow­n­ed by Gujaratis, Kutchis, Parsis and Marwaris, the wo­rk­force was migrant Mahrashtri­ans from rural Maharashtra.

Premchand Roychand, a prosperous Gujarati broker founded the Bombay Stock Ex­change. Premchand Roychand donated Rs 2,00,000 to build the Rajabai Tower in 1878.

Muslim, Sindhi and Punjabi migrants have also contributed handsomely to Mumbai.

Mumbai is built on the blood and sweat of all Indians. Apart from its original inhabitants, the Kolis, everyone else in Mumbai, including Thackeray’s ‘Marathi Man­oos’, are immigrants.

The writer is founder president, Mahatma Gandhi Foundation

Jobsworth And Rudeness- I'm Back In Britain.

Do You Put The Glass Down?

Everyone is suffering from stress related illness whether it is rich or poor. Have you ever thought how did stress became a permanent companion? The answer is very simple - 'YOU HAVE ALLOWED IT INSIDE!' We forget that we have a life beyond problems and continually worry about about them. I am not saying that one should overlook problems or push it away, but other things in life also should be given equal time. 

I have seen people totally stressed out and then taking out their frustration or anger either on themselves or on other loved ones. Stress is one of the main reason that we are seeing drastic rise in suicide cases. So what should one do? Well though it is easier said than done, but make an definitive effort to put stress away at the end of the day. 

To explain it in a much more better way I am citing an illustration that I received in an e-mail

a few days ago: 

A professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it. He held it up for all to see and asked the students, 'How much do you think this glass weighs?'

'50 gms!'...'100 gms!'...'125 gms!'... the students answered.'

I really don't know unless I weigh it,' said the professor,'but, my question is: What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?

''Nothing' the students said.

'Okay what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?' the professor asked.

'Your arm would begin to ache' said one of the students.

'You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?

''Your arm could go numb, you might have a severe muscle stress; paralysis; have to go to hospital for sure!' ventured another student; all the students laughed.

'Very good. But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?'asked the professor.

'No' the students said.

Then what caused the arm ache and the muscle stress?

'The students were puzzled. 

'Put the glass down!' said one of the students.

'Exactly!' said the professor.

'Life's problem are something like this. Hold it for a few minutes in your head; they seem okay. Think of them for a long time and; they begin to ache. Hold it even longer and; they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything. It's important to think of the challenges (problems) in your life, but it is EVEN MORE IMPORTANT to put them down at the end of every day before you go to sleep. That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh and strong and can handle any issue, any challenges that comes your way!

'Remember to 'PUT THE GLASS DOWN TODAY!'

My Name Is Kaul & I Am Terror-Struck By Khans.

'My Name Is Khan' has made the headlines for the right reasons as well as the wrong reasons. There are many who felt that the movie was unduly targeted because of the comments passed by one of the personality attached to the movie, while there are others who felt that the comments passed by Shahrukh Khan was in a bad taste when he himself didn't bid for any of the Pakistani players for his own IPL team. There are also a small faction who believe that all this was a part of a well staged publicity stunt to pull the crowds to the cinemas.

My view is that Shahrukh Khan should have restrained himself as he is a public figure and anything he says can be blown out of proportion or can be easily misconstrued irrespective of what he meant. 

With context to the movie there have been a few open letters addressed to Shahrukh Khan, one of them noted why Pakistan should not be considered a good neighbour and why India should avoid all kinds of ties with the bad neighbour, but one that really touched my heart is what I am reproducing it here. This letter has been doing rounds in e-mails and has been written by some Kaul, but no one is sure about the identity of the writer. So here it is for the readers to comment on it:

Am sure, you liked the Movie "My Name Is Khan."

Following reflections make a lot of sense in present context in INDIA. 

From: 

I am not Khan. 

My name bears a different set of four letters: K A U L. Kaul. As those who know Indian names would understand I happened to be born in a family which was called Hindu by others. Hence, we were sure, we would never get a friend like Karan Johar to make a movie on our humiliations and the contemptuous and forced exile from our homeland. 

It's not fashionable. It's fashionable to get a Khan as a friend and portray his agony and pains and sufferings when he is asked by a US private to take off his shoes and show his socks. Natural and quite justifiable that Khan must feel insulted and enraged. Enough Masala to make a movie. 

But unfortunately I am a Kaul. I am not a Khan. 

Hence when my sisters and mothers were raped and killed, when six-year-old Seema was witness to the brutal slaughtering of her brother, mother and father with a butcher's knife by a Khan, nobody ever came to make a movie on my agony, pain and anguish, and tears.No Karan Johar would make a movie on Kashmiri Hindu. Because we are not Khans. We are Kauls. 

When we look at our own selves as Kauls, we also see a macabre dance of leaders who people Parliament. Some of them were really concerned about us. They got the bungalows and acres of greenery and had their portraits worshiped by the gullible devotees of patriotism.They made reservations in schools and colleges for us. In many many other states. But never did they try that we go back to our homes. 

They have other priorities and 'love your jihadi neighborhood' programmes. They get flabbier and flabbier with the passing of each year, sit on sacks of sermons; issue instructions to live simply and follow moral principles delivered by ancestors and kept in documents treated with time-tested preservatives. 

They could play with me because my name is Kaul. And not Mr Khan. I saw the trailer to this fabulous movie, which must do good business at the box office.There was not even a hint that terror is bad and it is worse if it is perpetuated in the name of a religion that means Peace. Peace be upon all its followers and all other the creatures too.So you make a movie on the humiliation of taking off shoes to a foreign police force which has decided not to allow another 9/11. 

The humiliation of taking off the shoes and the urge to show that you are innocent is really too deep. But what about the humiliation of leaving your home and hearth and the world and the relatives and wife and mother and father? And being forced to live in shabby tents, at the mercy of nincompoop leaders encashing your misery and bribe-seeking babus? And seeing your daughters growing up too sudden and finding no place to hide your shame? 

No Karan Johar would ever come forward to make a movie, a telling, spine-chilling narration on the celluloid, of five-year-old Seema, who saw her parents and brother being slaughtered by a butcher's knife in Doda. 

Because her dad was not Mr Khan. He was one Mr Kaul.

Sorry, Mr Kaul and your entire ilk. I can't help you. It's not fashionable to side with those who are Kauls. And Rainas. And Bhatts. Dismissively called KPs. KPs means Kashmiri Pandits. They are a bunch of communalists. They were the agents of one Mr Jagmohan who planned their exodus so that Khans can be blamed falsely. In fact, a movie can be made on how these KPs conspired their own exile to give a bad name to the loving and affectionate Khan brothers of the valley.

To voice the woes of Kauls is sinful. The right course to get counted in the lists of the Prime Minister's banquets and the President's parties is to announce from the roof top: hey, men and ladies, I am Mr Khan.The biggest apartheid the state observes is to exclude those who cry for Kauls, wear the colours of Ayodhya, love the wisdom of the civilisational heritage, dare to assert as Hindus in a land which is known as Hindustan too and struggle to live with dignity as Kauls. They are out and exiled. 

You can see any list of honours and invites to summits and late-evening gala parties to toast a new brand. All that the Kauls are allowed is a space at Jantar Mantar: shout, weep and go back to your tents after a tiring demonstration.Mr Kaul, you have got a wrong name. 

A dozen Karan Johar's would fly to take you atop the glory - posts and gardens of sympathies if you accept to wear a Khan name and love a Sunita, Pranita, Komal or a Kamini. Well, here you have a sweetheart in Mandira. That goes well with the story.And you pegged the movie plot on autism. 

I wept. It was too much. I wept as a father of a son who needed a story as an Indian. Who cares for his autistic son, his relationship with the western world, his love affair with a young sweet something as a human, as someone whose heart goes beyond being a Hindu, a Muslim or a proselytizing Vatican-centric aggressive soul. 

Not the one who would declare in newspaper interviews: "I think I am an ambassador for Islam". Shah Rukh is Shah Rukh, not because he is an ambassador for Islam. If that was true, he could have found a room in Deoband. Fine enough. But he became a heartthrob and a famous star because he is a great actor. He owes everything he has to Indians and not just to Muslims. We love him not because he is some Mr Khan. We love him because he has portrayed the dreams, aspirations, pains, anguish and ups and downs of our daily life. As an Indian. As one of us.If he wants to use our goodwill and love for strengthening his image as an ambassador for Islam, will we have to think to put up an ambassador for Hindus? That, at least to me, would be unacceptable because I trust everyone: a Khan or a Kaul or a Singh or a Victor. Who represents India represents us all too, including Hindus. My best ambassadorship would be an ambassadorship for the Tri-colour and not for anything else because I see my Ram and Dharma in that. I don't think even an Amitabh or a Hritik would ever think in terms Shah Rukh has chosen for himself. 

But shouldn't these big, tall, successful Indians who wear Hindu names make a movie on why Kauls were ousted? Why Godhra occurred in the first place? Why nobody, yes, not a single Muslim, comes forward to take up the cause of the exiled and killed and contemptuously marginalized Kauls whereas every Muslim complainant would have essentially a Hindu advocate to take on Hindus as fiercely as he can? 

If you are Mr Khan and found dead on the railway tracks, the entire nation would be shaken. And he was also a Rizwan. May be just a coincidence that our Mr Khan in the movie is also a Rizwan. 

Rizwan's death saw the police commissioner punished and cover stories written by missionary writers. But if you are a Sharma or a Kaul and happened to love an Ameena Yusuf in Srinagar, you would soon find your corpse inside the police thana and NONE, not even a small-time local paper would find it worthwhile to waste a column on you. No police constable would be asked to explain how a wrongly detained person was found dead in police custody? 

Because the lover found dead inside a police thana was not Mr Khan. No Karan Johar would ever come forward to make a movie on 'My name is Kaul. And I am terror-struck by Khans'. 

Give me back my identity as an Indian, Mr. Khan and I would have no problem even wearing your name and appreciating the tender love of an autistic son.

An Ant & The Grasshopper - A Story Retold!

I am dead sure that everyone of us during our lifetime must have heard the story of a hard-working ant and the frivolous/lazy grasshopper. 

Well for those who don't remember the story in a nutshell is: The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold. 

Now, if the same story is given the hue of the great Indian Political Circus Version, it would be something like this:

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant's a fool and laughs and dances and  plays the summer away. 

Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

NDTV, AAJTAK, CNN-IBN show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food..........

The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. 

How can this be that this poor Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so much?

Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant's house..........

Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter..........

Mayawati states this as 'injustice' done on Minorities..........

Amnesty International and UN secretary criticize the Indian Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper..........

The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the Grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance)..........

Opposition MPs stage a walkout..........

Left parties call for 'Bengal Bandh' in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry..........

CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and Grasshoppers..........

Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'..........

Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the 'Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act' [POTAGA], with effect from the beginning of the winter..........

Arjun Singh makes 'Special Reservation' for Grasshoppers in Educational Institutions  and in Government Services..........

The Ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, it’s home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV, AAJTAK and CNN-IBN.

Arundhati Roy calls it ' A Triumph of Justice'.

Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice'.

CPM calls it the 'Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden'

UN Secretary General invites the Grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.

Many years later....

The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar company in Silicon Valley, 100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere in India, 

AND as a result of loosing lot of hard working Ants and feeding the grasshoppers, 

India is still a developing country…....!!!

'Death': As I See It - A New Beginning!

Life would lose its meaning and importance without its two important points, birth and death. Although they are the two sides of the coin called life, I tend to give more weight to birth, as it not only starts a life but simultaneously gives birth to many relationships – mother, father, grandparents, brothers, sisters etc. – which even death can't end.

Still, death is a stage that most of us fear and face with trepidation. Whether human or animal, everyone fears death. When death asks its questions, one has a little choice but to respond positively. So why do most fear death?

In my opinion the fear of anything arises from our inability to control it and the uncertainty that it brings with it. Our inability to overpower death, and the uncertainty as to what happens after death, are what make us fearful of it. As an advancing and scientifically enhanced global tribe, we have achieved nearly complete control over birth, and can regulate it as per one's personal wish. But with death no such breakthrough has yet been achieved. Also we are in uncharted territory as regards to what happens after death.

No one knows what happens after death. We hear stories of reincarnations, ghost sightings, and the like, while religions have beliefs regarding heaven and hell, dwelling places for souls after death. But there is no concrete evidence to prove any of those beliefs.

Fear will haunt us as long as we live, if we allow it to grow. We all voluntarily or involuntarily face our fears every day. Whether we face them with trepidation or with all the strength that we can muster is solely up to us.

A poet has rightly described life as one long dream from which a man never wakes up. Let’s see life as an energy form that is continuously flowing, with birth and death as  mere catalysts that changes the course of the flow. Both death and birth are followed by cries, so why should we fear and mourn one and celebrate the other? We should learn not to see death as an end, but as a convergence point from where one’s flow of life takes a new shape and direction.

To look at it in a lighter vein, death is a phase, a transition period, or a period of reshuffles and transfers in a big corporate Universe where "God" is a CEO who gives assignments to executives – "souls." At the end of assignments or term, those executives are transferred: "death." Depending on their work (Karma/Deeds) they are either promoted (Heaven), demoted (Hell), or merely transferred (Reincarnation) to another assignment. Those "souls" who get the pink slip are what we call "ghosts."

The above article has been submitted by us to blogcritics.org and the same has been published by them on 4th August 2009 - http://blogcritics.org/culture/article/death-as-i-see-it-a/