The Day I Attended My Own Funeral...

3rd February 2011


By: M M Singh


It seemed surreal!

There I was , watching my own funeral! Mourners, dressed in white, silently passing my body, covered in a sheet, paying silent obeisance to my weeping widow, but unable to see me sitting there! I could see them, I could hear them, but they not me! Surreal!

'He was a good man', said the person behind me, 'and it was he, as Finance Minister, who opened up the economy to competitive forces by removing the license raj.

'Yes,' agreed his neighbor. 'I remember having to wait 10 years to be allotted a Fiat car, which was of such poor quality that there were defects I had to point out when being delivered! I was given the option of either taking it or waiting indefinitely for the defects to be rectified.'

"Nowadays,' said a third, 'we get a choice of vehicles of the shelf and with much better customer care. He really did India a big favor by removing the license permit raj.'

I smiled with smug satisfaction at these comments. I was trying to turn around and say something to the folks making these comments but somehow they couldn't hear a thing. Was I really dead" Was I really watching my own funeral" It was surreal!

'True,' said the guy to my right ' I remember that he took the decision to export the country's gold in order to secure a line of credit, as India's coffers were empty. But after opening up in the early 90s  we never looked back.

'And an honest man!' exclaimed the person to my left. 'I am told that even after being made Finance Minister he stood in queue to catch a bus, insisting on public transport until advised that it was a security risk. Where do you find such people now?' His comments gladdened my heart; at least some people remembered.

'All of that is true,' said a gruff looking man in front of me, ' but that was when he was Finance Minister and was given political protection by Prime Minister Narashimha Rao. Sadly, he didn't give the same political protection to continue with reforms when he became Prime Minister.'

I started to protest, but no one could hear me!

'I agree,' said the guy next to him. 'Look at his inability, or unwillingness to take action against those who looted the country. Do you remember the Commonwealth Games scandal and the telecom sale of 2G scandal? What's the measure of honesty if you allow, as Prime Minister, such loot to take place and do nothing about it?'

'True,' exclaimed the chap on my right 'after that year, I think it was 2010, things just got worse! Corruption became so rampant and the fiscal deficit widened because of the loot that should have gone into the country's coffers. We are again in bad fiscal state with our coffers nearly empty. How sad that an honest Prime Minister was unable to stem the rot.'

'Haan yaar,' said his neighbor. 'Imagine India was once called a BRIC country, with such potential. Just because he was not strong enough to clean up and the popular acronym is now BRAC. What a pity? But ky karen, such is our takdeer.'

I was really saddened to hear this. Partly because it was true! I had thought that  if I concentrated on the big picture, such as the nuclear deal with US to secure our energy needs, as well as a seat on the UN Security Council, and the introduction of things like GST and UID, I would have made a big contribution to India. Yet I find no one remembering me for all this; instead I am being held responsible for the corruption that is increasing.

We did sign deals to set up nuclear power plants, which met a part of our energy needs. We did, finally, set up a large solar thermal farms and made these commercially viable. We did manage to fin more gas, making gas a major component of our energy mix. And, because of the economic growth in the first two decades of the 21st century, we did secure a seat in the Security Council. Yet no one is mentioning this! That really hurts!

'You know,' said the gruff looking guy in front of me, 'because of the loot by corrupt politicians, we did not spend enough on preserving our resources. Now look at the water shortage. Karnataka and Tamil Nadu are almost at war with each other because of a fight over sharing of water. A large part of the blame would rest on his shoulder.'

'Not only that,' said the guy behind me. 'Because of the loot we have not been able to spend enough to modernize our army, air-force and navy, or equip our local police force and now we have serious incursions almost every month.

I stood up to protest!

And found myself in my office, woken from my reverie!

I made a vow for 2011.

I am Prime Minister of India. I will not let people remember me for unbridled corruption. That will not be my legacy. I will take steps to stanch the rot.

For starters I will ask for details of accounts held in Swiss banks and other tax havens. They have been waiting for us to ask them, and I shall.

I will vigorously pursue those who have looted the nation, never mind how highly place they are or what political ramifications there will be. I want to be remembered as the person who cleaned up India's reputation for corruption.

I will remove all tax exemptions, especially on agricultural income, which is only used to launder black money generated for corruption and not for farmers. I will place a higher tax exemption limit for farm income and tax anything above it. I will do away with double tax treaties that also distort capital flows and allow money stashed abroad to be reinvested in India with freedom to exit.

I will do away with exemptions for security checks at airports. No one should be exempted. It is only a way for cash to be transported without scrutiny.

I will create an independent Police Commission so that security services are run professionally and efficiently without being subservient to politicians who transfer them. The Commission will decide on transfers and not the politicians.

I will have a dialogue with the judiciary and provide enough resources to clear the backlog of cases. This would help clear up the criminalization of politics, as criminals can enter Parliament unless convicted. I will work with the judiciary to have a time bound program for convictions, instead of interminable adjournments.

I will do this for India.

I love India.

And I am Manmohan Singh, the  Prime Minister and if I don't help my country, who, after me, will?

Disclaimer: Conceived and penned by: J Mulraj.


Let's all hope that Indian Prime Minister really has such a dream so that he can realize the plight and nightmare that Indian citizens are experiencing.

Is India In Coma?

Europeans believe that Indian leaders are too blinded by new wealth and deceit to comprehend that the day will come when the have-nots will hit the streets.

Mohan Maruti of India was in a panel discussion on mergers and acquisitions in Frankfurt, Germany organized by Euroforum and The Handelsblatt, one of the most prestigious newspaper in German-speaking Europe. The other panelists were senior officials of two of the largest carmakers and two top insurance companies - all German multinationals operating in India.

The panel discussion was moderated by a professor from the esteemed European Business School. The hall had an audience that exceeded a hundred well-known CEOs. Among all these foreign panel, Mohan Maruti was the only Indian.



After the panel discussion, the floor was open for questions. That was when Mohan Maruti's "moment of truth" turned into an hour of shame and embarrassment - when the participants fired questions and made remarks on their experiences with the evil of corruption in India.


The awkwardness and humiliation Mohan Maruti went through reminded him of 'The Moment Of Truth', the popular Anglo-American game. The more questions he answered truthfully, the questions got more tougher and here more tougher definitely means more embarrassing.


Questions ranged from "Is your nation in a coma?", the corruption in administration, even in judiciary, the possible impeachment of a judge, the 2G telecom scam and to the money in billions, parked illegally in tax havens.


It was a fact that the problem of corruption in India had assumed enormous and embarrassing proportions in recent years, although it had been with us for decades. The questions and the debate that followed in the panel discussion was indicative of the European disquiet. At the end of the Q & A session, Mohan Maruti surmised that Europeans perceive India to be at one of those junctures where tripping over the precipice can't be ruled out.


This can be substantiated further with what the European media had to say in recent days: In a popular prime-time television discussion in Germany, the panelist, a member of the German parliament quoting a blog said: "If all the scams of the last five years are added up, India is likely to rival and exceed the British colonial loot of India by about a trillion dollars."


One German business daily wrote an editorial on India said: "India is becoming a Banana Republic instead of being an economic superpower. To get the cut motion designated out, assurances are made to political allays. Special treatment is promised at the expense of the people. So, Ms Mayawati, who is a chief minister of the most densely inhabited state, is calmed by scrapping an intelligence agency probe. The investigation of the multi-million dollars fodder scam by another former chief minister wielding enormous power is put in cold storage. Prime Minister Manmohan Singh chairs over this kind of unparalleled loot." 


An article in a French newspaper titled "Playing The Game, Indian Style' wrote: "Investigations into the shadowy financial deals of the Indian cricket league have revealed a web of transactions across tax havens like Switzerland, the Virgin Islands, Mauritius and Cyprus." In the same article, the name of one Hassan Ali of Pune was mentioned as operating with his wife a one-billion dollar illegal Swiss account with "sanction of the Indian regime".


A third story narrated in the damaging article is that of the former chief minister of Jharkhand, Madhu Koda, who was reported to have funds in various tax havens that were partly used to buy mines in Liberia. "Unfortunately, the Indian public don't know the status of the enquiry," the article concluded.


"In the nastiest business scam in Indian records (Satyam) the government adroitly covered up the political aspects of the swindle - predominantly involving real estate," wrote an Austrian newspaper. "If the Indian Prime Minister knows nothing about these scandals, he is ignorant of ground realities then he does not deserve to be Prime Minister. If he does, is he a collaborator in crime?"


The Telegraph of the UK reported the 2G scam saying: "Naturally, India's elephantine legal system will ensure culpability, is delayed"


This seems true. In the European mind, caricature of a typical Indian encompasses qualities of falsification, telling lies, being fraudulent, dishonest, corrupt, arrogant, boastful, speaking loudly and bothering others in public places or, while traveling, swindling when the slightest of opportunity arises and spreading rumors about others. The list is truly incessant.

Mohan Maruti's father, who is 81 years old, is utterly frustrated, shocked and disgruntled with whatever is happening and said in a recent discussion that our country's motto should truly be CHANGED TO 'Asatyameva Jayate.'


Europeans believe that India leaders in politics and business are so blissfully blinded by the new, sometimes ill-gotten, wealth and deceit that they are living in defiance, insolence and denial to comprehend that the day will come sooner than later, when the have-nots would hit the streets.


In a way, it seems to have already started with the monstrous and grotesque acts of the Maoists. And, when that rot occurs, not one political turncoat will escape being lynched.


The drumbeats for these rebellions are going to get louder and louder as our leaders refuse to listen to the voices of the people. Eventually, it will lead to a revolution that will spill to street across the whole of India, Mohan Maruti fears.


Perhaps we are the architects of our own misfortune. It is our sab chalta hai (everything goes) attitude that has allowed people to mislead us with impunity.


No wonder Aesop said: "We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to high office."


Acknowledgement: Mohan Maruti is the author of the above article and was a former Europe Director, CII, and now lives in Cologne, Germany.